Ever Changing Body

At My Leanest

This was me in the summer of 2004. Definitely my leanest. I think I was about 4% body fat which means the AC gets you really cold at night! I was about 155 which is very low for my height (6 feet.) Of course I was also suffering from petit mal BDD -- I actually remember being dissatisfied with those pics as I felt my stomach (????) was too big. What a psycho. I look back on those pics now and really like the way I looked in clothing but my head looks too big for my body.

I now weigh about 175. I have added a load of muscle to my upper body (the profile pic is the most accurate) but in order to do that you must forfeit some definition. I think I want to lose about 5 or 6 pounds though and get really cut again for the summer. I'll take some current pics soon and put them up so you can see a good before and after.

I find it very easy to lose and gain weight, lose and gain muscle. It is all about nutrition, cardio, lifting, desire and discipline. For many years I was obsessed with maintaining that look I had in that picture, but I think now it was all about control.

At some point, I just got tired of it. I realized: I am not a fitness model, why am I suffering like one? But that's what living in the city can do to you. Your standards and expectations go way up and it's really kind of absurd.