Halloween Story (Eventually)
I have had some really weird coincidences happen to me in life and I remembered this story today.
I used to be in love with this guy, "R." I worked with him and he was straight and coincidentally his girlfriend worked with my ex-roommate.
He was American and his gf was British and named "E" and they lived with another Brit girl in the East Village.
He was so handsome and smart and nice and was one of those straight guys who just couldn't be straight. There were stories I heard that he had been gay when he lived in the UK, etc.
He always gave off the whiff of accessibility yet hid behind his girlfriend. One night we went out to dinner with a couple of other people (his girlfriend was away) and when we said goodbye, he kissed me goodbye on the lips. I remember pondering over this for days as only a 22 year old could obsess. I figured it was just some Euro thing but my friend and then-roomie Bobby set me straight: Straight American boys don't kiss gay boys on the lips in any way shape or form.
I also had a huge house party not long after that when I finally met his girlfriend. She was possessive and not very charming. The entire party he ignored her and he and I kept making these runs down to the store and acting like two crazy boys in love. There were all these weird unspoken gestures and vibes to one another.
I ended up hanging with these people a lot and I always tried to charm "E" but she never liked me. Eventually, I got to be friends with the girl Brit roommate "N" and her fiancé. I had pretty much embedded myself in their lives. We used to go out to Lucky Strike a lot and I just remember drinking and smoking and coke. Plus they told me lots of stories about "R" and "E" and how they met and their lives back in the UK, and all the gay rumours about "R," etc.
I was so jealous of "R" and people close to him. He was friends with these 2 brothers and I was crazy jealous of them. And as time went by, he got shittier and shittier to me. I don't exactly know what happened but I was still so into him. I used to take cabs home at night and have the cabbie park in front of his building first so I could keep tabs on him. I would play answering machine messages over and over again, listening for subtle signs. Stalker behavior, I know.
His awful British gf got colder and colder to me. One night, we were all playing billiards at that place that used to be on West 18th street. We were drinking and his awful girlfriend was alone with me at the bar and made some dumb, yet nasty, comment about how I should be playing "on the pink pool table." She was always saying dumb homophobic shit like that and trying to pass it off as good-natured humor.
Well, to this day I do not know what possessed me, but I calmly and smilingly "read her." I cut her to shreds. I gave a soliloquy and basically told her:
1) She was a pathetic loser and had no friends.
2) Nobody liked her in the UK or here.
3) She was holding onto "R" for dear life and he would dump her ass soon enough
I had been playing nice for so long and just tolerating her snide comments that I think seeing my true face floored her, she probably thought I was some milqetoast. To this day I have never sliced someone's guts as I did hers and I was high off it for days.
After that, I did not see as much of "R" and "E" but "R" was still chatty with me at work. I did hang with "N" a lot and it was always awkward when I would be at their apartment and "R" and "E" were there.
At some point in late September, "N" and her fiancé got married. "R" shocked me by asking me if I wanted to go to the wedding with him. I don't know where "E" was but one of my favorite memories of that era is riding up Park Avenue on the back of "R's" Harley, my hands tight around his waist.
That evening there was a huge party at their apartment. I got very drunk. Bobby, my roomie, had gotten to be friends with them, too, and came to the party. He told me the next day that he did not like "R's" disparaging remarks about me when I was out cold (more or less.) But I still could not see it for myself.
A few weeks after that, they had a big dinner party. "R" asked me to bring chairs, CDs and utensils and of course I complied. "E" was hateful at seeing me there. She did not say one word to me, as a matter of fact she hadn't since the pool table incident.
We all got quite drunk and at some point everyone left and "E" was passed out drunk in the bedroom. "R" and I were sitting practically on top of one another looking at a photography book. We were very chummy and touchy feely and I knew something was going to happen.
My very first sexual experience with another guy had been a mere 6 years earlier and he was my friend and was supposed to be straight and we had both been drunk so this did not surprise me.
So there we were, our legs touching and something very intimate about to happen, he leaned over and took an eyelash off my cheek and looked at me and...
Cut to the bedroom door being thrown open and "E," hysterical and sweating and drunk and angry and screaming at the top of her lungs: "Why don't you just suck Bart's cock! Huh? R? Huh? Just suck his bloody cock."
There was a moment of stunned silence. Time did stand still. To my credit, I was very calm. I looked at "R" and said, "You need to do something about her, or I will." He then got up and took her inside. No "goodbye Bart." I pissed around for 15 minutes then left.
Well, within a week, "E" was gone. Back in the UK for good. I thought for sure this would herald in "R" as my boyfriend. Me the patient one teaching him how to be gay. There was about a 48 hour period where this seemed possible.
But then what did that fuck do? He started going about with this hot little Asian girl. I used to hang out with all of them and he was mean to her, too, when her back was turned.
But after they broke up, the plot thickened. She and I compared notes and I think she had a really hard time with all the potential gay things (girls never like to believe that their guy is gay or bi) but she liked my filling in the blanks on a lot of his lies and his personality.
He also got her pregnant. And she kept it. This story is just too fucked up. She ended up writing a letter to his mother and father and telling them because he didn't. At some point down the line, she dropped me and her allegiance was with "R." I think "R" spun me as some crazy gay boy who loved him and lied about him. It makes me shudder to think of all of them and the constant pain I was in.
But on to my Halloween story.
With "E" in England, and the Brit roomie married, "R" moved. The Brit roomie "N" and her husband moved to an apartment near me and I used to hang with them a lot and drink and do lines. "R" was so out of the picture.
"N" was a user, too, I know that and we had little in common except partying. At some point they moved and I lost touch with them and had no idea where they were.
Cut to 2 years later.
My friend "I" invites me to a Halloween party on 1st and 2nd. I decline but then I start to drink and at 11:30 feel like going. So I go down but think it's 2nd and 1st instead. I'm wandering around thinking I'm just going to find this party without the address. So, I see a lot of people going into a building and hear party noises so I go in.
I go into the party and think "Uh-oh, I don't know a soul here. Wrong party." Then I look across the room and see two open-mouths. It's "N" and her husband. It's their apartment. Of all the apartments in the city, I had wandered into theirs. Everything was cool, I was actually psyched and they were too sorta, except to this day I don't think they believed me when I said that I just mistakenly wandered into their party.
I don't think I ever saw them again after that night.
Sometimes I am curious about all of these people I mentioned, but mostly not. I think they are all a pretty bad bunch and I'm better off without them. I do wonder about "R," though. Was he gay, bi, or just a user who liked to manipulate people. And how far would he have gone? Were "E"'s screaming comments accurate? I'm still a little mad and I could conjure up some pretty violent sexual imagery starring him and me: me slapping his face with my cock, me fucking his skinny ass very hard, etc. I hope his son, who is like so old now it blows my mind, grows up to be a big fag.
I used to be in love with this guy, "R." I worked with him and he was straight and coincidentally his girlfriend worked with my ex-roommate.
He was American and his gf was British and named "E" and they lived with another Brit girl in the East Village.
He was so handsome and smart and nice and was one of those straight guys who just couldn't be straight. There were stories I heard that he had been gay when he lived in the UK, etc.
He always gave off the whiff of accessibility yet hid behind his girlfriend. One night we went out to dinner with a couple of other people (his girlfriend was away) and when we said goodbye, he kissed me goodbye on the lips. I remember pondering over this for days as only a 22 year old could obsess. I figured it was just some Euro thing but my friend and then-roomie Bobby set me straight: Straight American boys don't kiss gay boys on the lips in any way shape or form.
I also had a huge house party not long after that when I finally met his girlfriend. She was possessive and not very charming. The entire party he ignored her and he and I kept making these runs down to the store and acting like two crazy boys in love. There were all these weird unspoken gestures and vibes to one another.
I ended up hanging with these people a lot and I always tried to charm "E" but she never liked me. Eventually, I got to be friends with the girl Brit roommate "N" and her fiancé. I had pretty much embedded myself in their lives. We used to go out to Lucky Strike a lot and I just remember drinking and smoking and coke. Plus they told me lots of stories about "R" and "E" and how they met and their lives back in the UK, and all the gay rumours about "R," etc.
I was so jealous of "R" and people close to him. He was friends with these 2 brothers and I was crazy jealous of them. And as time went by, he got shittier and shittier to me. I don't exactly know what happened but I was still so into him. I used to take cabs home at night and have the cabbie park in front of his building first so I could keep tabs on him. I would play answering machine messages over and over again, listening for subtle signs. Stalker behavior, I know.
His awful British gf got colder and colder to me. One night, we were all playing billiards at that place that used to be on West 18th street. We were drinking and his awful girlfriend was alone with me at the bar and made some dumb, yet nasty, comment about how I should be playing "on the pink pool table." She was always saying dumb homophobic shit like that and trying to pass it off as good-natured humor.
Well, to this day I do not know what possessed me, but I calmly and smilingly "read her." I cut her to shreds. I gave a soliloquy and basically told her:
1) She was a pathetic loser and had no friends.
2) Nobody liked her in the UK or here.
3) She was holding onto "R" for dear life and he would dump her ass soon enough
I had been playing nice for so long and just tolerating her snide comments that I think seeing my true face floored her, she probably thought I was some milqetoast. To this day I have never sliced someone's guts as I did hers and I was high off it for days.
After that, I did not see as much of "R" and "E" but "R" was still chatty with me at work. I did hang with "N" a lot and it was always awkward when I would be at their apartment and "R" and "E" were there.
At some point in late September, "N" and her fiancé got married. "R" shocked me by asking me if I wanted to go to the wedding with him. I don't know where "E" was but one of my favorite memories of that era is riding up Park Avenue on the back of "R's" Harley, my hands tight around his waist.
That evening there was a huge party at their apartment. I got very drunk. Bobby, my roomie, had gotten to be friends with them, too, and came to the party. He told me the next day that he did not like "R's" disparaging remarks about me when I was out cold (more or less.) But I still could not see it for myself.
A few weeks after that, they had a big dinner party. "R" asked me to bring chairs, CDs and utensils and of course I complied. "E" was hateful at seeing me there. She did not say one word to me, as a matter of fact she hadn't since the pool table incident.
We all got quite drunk and at some point everyone left and "E" was passed out drunk in the bedroom. "R" and I were sitting practically on top of one another looking at a photography book. We were very chummy and touchy feely and I knew something was going to happen.
My very first sexual experience with another guy had been a mere 6 years earlier and he was my friend and was supposed to be straight and we had both been drunk so this did not surprise me.
So there we were, our legs touching and something very intimate about to happen, he leaned over and took an eyelash off my cheek and looked at me and...
Cut to the bedroom door being thrown open and "E," hysterical and sweating and drunk and angry and screaming at the top of her lungs: "Why don't you just suck Bart's cock! Huh? R? Huh? Just suck his bloody cock."
There was a moment of stunned silence. Time did stand still. To my credit, I was very calm. I looked at "R" and said, "You need to do something about her, or I will." He then got up and took her inside. No "goodbye Bart." I pissed around for 15 minutes then left.
Well, within a week, "E" was gone. Back in the UK for good. I thought for sure this would herald in "R" as my boyfriend. Me the patient one teaching him how to be gay. There was about a 48 hour period where this seemed possible.
But then what did that fuck do? He started going about with this hot little Asian girl. I used to hang out with all of them and he was mean to her, too, when her back was turned.
But after they broke up, the plot thickened. She and I compared notes and I think she had a really hard time with all the potential gay things (girls never like to believe that their guy is gay or bi) but she liked my filling in the blanks on a lot of his lies and his personality.
He also got her pregnant. And she kept it. This story is just too fucked up. She ended up writing a letter to his mother and father and telling them because he didn't. At some point down the line, she dropped me and her allegiance was with "R." I think "R" spun me as some crazy gay boy who loved him and lied about him. It makes me shudder to think of all of them and the constant pain I was in.
But on to my Halloween story.
With "E" in England, and the Brit roomie married, "R" moved. The Brit roomie "N" and her husband moved to an apartment near me and I used to hang with them a lot and drink and do lines. "R" was so out of the picture.
"N" was a user, too, I know that and we had little in common except partying. At some point they moved and I lost touch with them and had no idea where they were.
Cut to 2 years later.
My friend "I" invites me to a Halloween party on 1st and 2nd. I decline but then I start to drink and at 11:30 feel like going. So I go down but think it's 2nd and 1st instead. I'm wandering around thinking I'm just going to find this party without the address. So, I see a lot of people going into a building and hear party noises so I go in.
I go into the party and think "Uh-oh, I don't know a soul here. Wrong party." Then I look across the room and see two open-mouths. It's "N" and her husband. It's their apartment. Of all the apartments in the city, I had wandered into theirs. Everything was cool, I was actually psyched and they were too sorta, except to this day I don't think they believed me when I said that I just mistakenly wandered into their party.
I don't think I ever saw them again after that night.
Sometimes I am curious about all of these people I mentioned, but mostly not. I think they are all a pretty bad bunch and I'm better off without them. I do wonder about "R," though. Was he gay, bi, or just a user who liked to manipulate people. And how far would he have gone? Were "E"'s screaming comments accurate? I'm still a little mad and I could conjure up some pretty violent sexual imagery starring him and me: me slapping his face with my cock, me fucking his skinny ass very hard, etc. I hope his son, who is like so old now it blows my mind, grows up to be a big fag.
posted by Bart at 11:32 PM
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