Message Board Idiots

I belong to this NYC invitation-to-join message classifieds board. All the people who post on it suck and I only belong now to read the absurd requests. In general they are about:

1) Used shit that people want to sell (TVs, washers, gift certificates, coats)

2) Jobs that people or their close friends/relatives are looking for. Usually they want to work in media/film/publishing/marketing

3) Services they recommend: great career coaches, dentists, movers, makeup artists

4) People looking to sublet their apartments for really short amounts of time (like 3 days) for really ridiculous sums of money

5) People looking for information from people on stuff they can easily find out themselves (insurance providers, real estate brokers, restaurants)

It's fair to say I hate them all. Here are some of tonight's winners...

Hello all,

For some weird reason I was able to get 5 days off of work this coming
week and wanted to take advantage of it. I was hoping to go up to the
Catskills and work on a photo project I've been putting together.

Is there anybody out there that would be willing to lend a car
this coming weekend/week? I'm looking at going this
Saturday - Wednesday

I don't have the budget to rent a car but I can compensate a little
cash or we could work out some sort of a trade.

Anything would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

-Timothy

Bart asks: Who the fuck are you and why would I give you my car? Asshole.

Hello Friends

My sister is selling some of her Rangers tickets for pre-season and regular
season. She has 2 tickets for each game. They are located in section 423
(center ice). The tickets are $52 for the pair. Email me back if you are
interested @aol.com_ (mailto:@aol.com) or call ########
Pre-Season
Wednesday, September 20 vs. New Jersey Devils @ 7PM
Monday, September 25 vs. New York Islanders @ 7PM
Wednesday, September 27 vs. Boston Bruins @ 7PM
Regular Season
Sunday, November 5th vs. Buffalo @ 5PM
Sunday, November 19th vs. Tampa Bay @ 7PM
Sunday, November 26th vs. Buffalo @ 7PM
Sunday, December 10th vs. Florida @ 7PM

Bart says: Your sister is a scalper. Call a spade a spade.

High-quality, extra warmth, queen sized The Company Store "La Crosse"
comforter for sale
Link to what it looks like:
http://www.thecompanystore.com/parent.asp?product=CT06x&dept%5Fid=3101
Color: Vineyard (light green)

Purchased last November to keep me warm during Ithaca winters (and it sure
did!) Don't need it now.

Going to the best offer starting at $50.00 - bidding ends midnight 9/16

Email me at @aol.com

Thanks!

Bart says: Buying used bedding is too ghetto, you are so tacky, give it to a homeless shelter and have 4 fewer drinks next month. Cheap cunt.

As my job search continues, I need help with two things:

1. One woman whom I am going to work for,for 6 hrs a week as a nanny, asked
how much I want to get pd. *Any suggestions on how much I should ask for or
the going rate for a nanny?
* 2. Anyone have any suggestions for my primary work? I want to work in the
non-profit sector with an organization that has a mission statement for the
empowerment or betterment of children. For example, my dream job would be
the UNICEF, but I am taking baby-steps…..I have sent out lots of resumes,
but the phone calls back are not happening.

3. Or maybe you have some ideas of places where I could work for some cash
flow. Example: restaurants (experience in being a waitress, but bartender
would need to be trained, catering services, any service job that deals with
people I can do.

Thanks for your help!!!!!!

Bart says: Sure, and can I wipe your ass for you, too?