It's a Wonderful Life
So, I sent out this announcement to about 200 people I know via email with my news and new work info and I've gotten about 50 really nice replies. I feel kind of like "It's a Wonderful Life" because 2 months ago I was borderline suicidal and now I feel pretty good and all these people are writing nice stuff to me and shit. Being out of work or having a truly sucky job really is tough. I think besides an illness it is the hardest things to go through. People say you get jobs through connections and that may be true in some industries but it has done shit for me in my life. I know hundreds of people and not one had ever been able to help me find a job and it's very rare to even have someone offer up the name of a person to contact.
I think an important part of being happy in life is knowing which friends/family members can give you what and not to expect certain things from people who cannot give it. I had this really good friend named Tanya for 15 years. She was always the wacky chick and I was the stable one. I saw her burn through so many friends and it was always via some drama. She was always being persecuted. People were doing things to her. And on and on. I was extremely directly affected by 9/11. I lived right near there, was home that morning, thought I was going to die, and had to be out of my home for two months.
Tanya completely flaked out on me. I remember on September 14 I had just bounced from my friend's place on the UWS to an empty pad that belonged to a traveling friend of my Mom's. I was psyched to see Tanya as she lived right nearby. I needed to see her. She called and said she was bringing her new bf I had not yet met. I told her I was not up to meeting someone new and she flipped. She was so insecure she couldn't not do something without her boyfriend.
Then she chilled a bit but was distant. The last straw for her was her birthday which was mid October. I said I would go but at the last minute I had to go to Boston with my Mom because her sister had brain cancer and it looked like that was it.
Tanya flipped and said something like "You do everything your Mom says, don't you?"
I had this friend Arlene once who always put things succinctly. She would have said about Tanya: "Bitch is crazy."
Tanya wrote me this really mean email that I still have. I wrote her back the way you would write to a crazy person. Very carefully. And we never spoke again. This October will be 5 years. I can't say I don't miss her sometimes but my life is more stable without her. Maybe sometime in the next 5 years I will reach out. Who knows? I have trouble letting those sleeping dogs lay.
I think an important part of being happy in life is knowing which friends/family members can give you what and not to expect certain things from people who cannot give it. I had this really good friend named Tanya for 15 years. She was always the wacky chick and I was the stable one. I saw her burn through so many friends and it was always via some drama. She was always being persecuted. People were doing things to her. And on and on. I was extremely directly affected by 9/11. I lived right near there, was home that morning, thought I was going to die, and had to be out of my home for two months.
Tanya completely flaked out on me. I remember on September 14 I had just bounced from my friend's place on the UWS to an empty pad that belonged to a traveling friend of my Mom's. I was psyched to see Tanya as she lived right nearby. I needed to see her. She called and said she was bringing her new bf I had not yet met. I told her I was not up to meeting someone new and she flipped. She was so insecure she couldn't not do something without her boyfriend.
Then she chilled a bit but was distant. The last straw for her was her birthday which was mid October. I said I would go but at the last minute I had to go to Boston with my Mom because her sister had brain cancer and it looked like that was it.
Tanya flipped and said something like "You do everything your Mom says, don't you?"
I had this friend Arlene once who always put things succinctly. She would have said about Tanya: "Bitch is crazy."
Tanya wrote me this really mean email that I still have. I wrote her back the way you would write to a crazy person. Very carefully. And we never spoke again. This October will be 5 years. I can't say I don't miss her sometimes but my life is more stable without her. Maybe sometime in the next 5 years I will reach out. Who knows? I have trouble letting those sleeping dogs lay.
posted by Bart at 11:39 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home