Bio
I had to write this bio of myself for something creative that I'm doing as a sidebar. Non-work related. I did not want to write a normal bio/CV. I tried to get down the essence of me but of course it is hard. I guess the hard thing for me is to express that I am cool without saying I am cool because that is very uncool :-) Kind of like the personals where they say "VGL." I guess the only thing worse than "VGL" is "I've been told I'm good looking." That is so wrong on so many levels. First" You want to tell everyone you're good looking but don't want to come across as arrogant so you use the third party endorsement but nobody knows your thrid party so who cares? And you want to be all blase about it but if you really were blase you wouldn't say anything. I'll take the straight up self-described VGL any day.
Anyway. Me. So it's hard because I am cool but I mean relaxed as opposed to trendy, and non-judgemental. I have an incredible ego except I try to hide it because I know it is obnoxious. And I would do anything for the downtrodden and victimized. I have hero fantasies :-) But my monster evil ego comes out when I see injustice and I need to read someone. Case in point: yesterday this woman very uncooly really pushed me at teh subway door because I was not going on fast enough (there were still people leaving.) Of course I am like a boulder so pushing me will not really work. I looked at her and said "what's your problem?" But it was low and maybe she did not hear so when we're getting on she looks at me like I'm nuts and says all sing-songy "Excuse me" and she starts to go for the last empty seat but I'm ahead of her so I sit in it even though I never sit on the train. And she's annoyed.
Then, Karma enters. This distressed lady with like a 4 month old gets on and is holding onto the pole so I get up and say to her would you like to sit and she is so grateful (she even says thanks to me when she gets off like a million stops later.) But my favorite part is when I get up and give this lady my seat I make eye contact with Miss "Excuse Me" and give her a really fake kind of fuck you smile.
See, the world evened out just then because nobody else would have given that woman a seat, certainly not Miss Excuse Me.
So, yes, I take my subway shit a little too seriously, I know. But without further pomp, here's my bio:
Bart was born in Brooklyn and got as far as Manhattan and Westchester County before rounding back again.
He has been a club kid, a coke head, a retail salesperson, a real estate broker, a dot-com entrepreneur, a gym-junkie and many other things. Today he works in marketing for non-profits.
He has known a lot of people. So many so that he can’t read the newspaper without seeing the name of someone he knows. He rarely loses touch with someone and if he does, he doesn’t hesitate to get back in touch with them no matter how much time has gone by. He thanks the Internet for making that possible.
He always liked music and movies and books. The first band he saw live was Santana. His father took him to see Carrie when he was in third grade, after which he was the only kid in his class with a favorite director. He thinks that 90% of movies today are unwatchable. His father had 20,000 books when he was growing up. You could go to his library and learn about anything.
Bart loves people but hates ignorance. He hates when the weak are exploited and thinks he would intervene if someone was being pushed around.
He’s physically very strong. One of the best things about getting older is being invisible to teenagers; one of the worst is losing physical strength. He’s not afraid to die but he wishes he could live to experience all of the technology that’s sure to come this century.
He loves to learn new things. He wishes he spoke a foreign language fluently. He’d rather read about a place than visit it.
He has a healthy ego but he’s not arrogant-except when he’s with someone who’s asking for it.
Bart loves dogs and cats but he no longer has a pet-he could never go through the loss again.
He likes to play with children and thinks he would make a good father but he recognizes the extent of his selfishness and does not think it would be a good idea.
He hates predictability but it’s so hard to be original when almost everything has been done before.
He loves to write but he’s not looking for money or fame, there are more surefire paths to those.
He’s not an asshole though he can sound like one on paper.
Anyway. Me. So it's hard because I am cool but I mean relaxed as opposed to trendy, and non-judgemental. I have an incredible ego except I try to hide it because I know it is obnoxious. And I would do anything for the downtrodden and victimized. I have hero fantasies :-) But my monster evil ego comes out when I see injustice and I need to read someone. Case in point: yesterday this woman very uncooly really pushed me at teh subway door because I was not going on fast enough (there were still people leaving.) Of course I am like a boulder so pushing me will not really work. I looked at her and said "what's your problem?" But it was low and maybe she did not hear so when we're getting on she looks at me like I'm nuts and says all sing-songy "Excuse me" and she starts to go for the last empty seat but I'm ahead of her so I sit in it even though I never sit on the train. And she's annoyed.
Then, Karma enters. This distressed lady with like a 4 month old gets on and is holding onto the pole so I get up and say to her would you like to sit and she is so grateful (she even says thanks to me when she gets off like a million stops later.) But my favorite part is when I get up and give this lady my seat I make eye contact with Miss "Excuse Me" and give her a really fake kind of fuck you smile.
See, the world evened out just then because nobody else would have given that woman a seat, certainly not Miss Excuse Me.
So, yes, I take my subway shit a little too seriously, I know. But without further pomp, here's my bio:
Bart was born in Brooklyn and got as far as Manhattan and Westchester County before rounding back again.
He has been a club kid, a coke head, a retail salesperson, a real estate broker, a dot-com entrepreneur, a gym-junkie and many other things. Today he works in marketing for non-profits.
He has known a lot of people. So many so that he can’t read the newspaper without seeing the name of someone he knows. He rarely loses touch with someone and if he does, he doesn’t hesitate to get back in touch with them no matter how much time has gone by. He thanks the Internet for making that possible.
He always liked music and movies and books. The first band he saw live was Santana. His father took him to see Carrie when he was in third grade, after which he was the only kid in his class with a favorite director. He thinks that 90% of movies today are unwatchable. His father had 20,000 books when he was growing up. You could go to his library and learn about anything.
Bart loves people but hates ignorance. He hates when the weak are exploited and thinks he would intervene if someone was being pushed around.
He’s physically very strong. One of the best things about getting older is being invisible to teenagers; one of the worst is losing physical strength. He’s not afraid to die but he wishes he could live to experience all of the technology that’s sure to come this century.
He loves to learn new things. He wishes he spoke a foreign language fluently. He’d rather read about a place than visit it.
He has a healthy ego but he’s not arrogant-except when he’s with someone who’s asking for it.
Bart loves dogs and cats but he no longer has a pet-he could never go through the loss again.
He likes to play with children and thinks he would make a good father but he recognizes the extent of his selfishness and does not think it would be a good idea.
He hates predictability but it’s so hard to be original when almost everything has been done before.
He loves to write but he’s not looking for money or fame, there are more surefire paths to those.
He’s not an asshole though he can sound like one on paper.
posted by Bart at 11:25 PM
1 Comments:
People should read this.
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